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We spend an increasing portion of our lives single - marrying later, divorcing in greater numbers.

I wanted to find a fresh way of pursuing love into my 30s, one that was more personal, less of an emotional rollercoaster, and hopefully a little more romantic.

This realisation was a scathing indictment of my relationship choices since, and brought into sharp focus the emotional frustration that defined those years.

Relationships would begin well enough, but once we'd gone to bed, I would need something more from the guy in question, more than he usually seemed prepared to give - not the kind of commitment that's sealed with a ring, but certainly some level of emotional investment.

Deciding to ban sex from my life for a year was a drastic response to the kind of dating woes plenty of women put up with.

I discovered it's easier to open up emotionally when you've drawn some physical boundaries.If my year had been about anything, it was about listening to my heart.Of course, when people ask how it ended, that's not really what they mean.Of course, the worst thing a girl can be is needy, and so, like my friends, I spent my 20s tiptoeing around commitment-phobes, hoping to coax them into a lasting relationship while bottling up my own need for meaningful emotional engagement.By the time I turned 30, I couldn't help wondering whether we women hadn't traded sexual frustration for emotional frustration.

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